Thinking out loud.

Calculator.

One of my more prominent memories of elementary school is when I was in the 3rd grade. Me and my teacher had gotten into an argument about why I needed to know how to divide. You see, she wanted us to become proficient and quick in that area of mathematics (as any good teacher would want).

I had earnestly asked her why I would need to practice something that a calculator could do in a matter of milliseconds with far greater accuracy. Her response was that I would not always have a calculator on me. I made a vow that day that I would prove her wrong.

“When I grow up, I will carry a calculator wit me at all times! Even if it kills me, I will not relent”

She tried to reason with me, saying that such a commitment was unreadable. But I was bitter. The damage was done.

Ladies and gentlemen, I write this to you now from my iPhone 4. Calculator? Check. Battle? Won.

You know it’s a good joke when people cry laughing. You know it’s a good pun when people roll their eyes and walk away.

Spoonfuls of sugar are generally frowned upon. Unless, of course, they are taken with medicine. Somehow that makes it okay.

Science Experiment

“What’s her name again?”

“Justine Bieber, sir.”

“Alright, inject her with the potion.”

Priorities.

Stay at work and please the boss, or make it home safe without getting stranded on the snow somewhere.

Hm.

Layers, Layers, Layers.

Weather like this is where the “I can always put more clothes on” theory falls apart. Unless you wanna like like the Michelin tire man.